My boyfriend could sense it. My best friend had a feeling. Both suggested multiple times that I take a test just to be sure. Moodier than ever before, I shrugged it off as my period coming soon. Since the beginning of grade 9, Mother Nature reminded me each month of my ‘gift’. Yes I realized the days were passing by since my last cycle and there could’ve been a variety of other reasons that it hadn’t arrived yet. I routinely got headaches, one of my favorite things in the world was sleeping (in excess when I got the chance), and I figured my change in appetite was because each restaurant we went to on date night I had meals I wouldn’t regularly eat. The possibility and idea of being pregnant just weeks after a proposal from my boyfriend to spend our lives together seemed like the craziest of coincidences.
I bought the 2 pack pregnancy test on a whim and would’ve done it as soon as I got home but needed to instead wait until my fiance came by. In his mind he knew what the result would be, I on the other hand was not prepared. Marriage is one thing but a baby?
What did I have to offer to my child? What kind of mother would I be? What kind of role model could I be? Am I prepared for a complete change in my lifestyle? Will I be secure in motherhood should my partner somehow feel that he’s not ready?
Because I don’t believe in coincidences, regardless of how ready I was to read the results on the test, I knew that I would accept it. I made this compromise with myself because we are not given more than we can handle. We aren’t set down a path that isn’t meant to be. My life was falling into place and the most important step for me was to be at peace and accept fate.